“Bright Side of the Right Side –
The Art of Submission & Surrender Symposium
Keynote Address by slave Sassy Nikki Evans
Thank you girl green for curating such an impactful and necessary opportunity for us on the Bright Side of the Right Side. I am humbled and honored to be a part of this virtual symposium and to deliver it’s keynote address. I also thank Sir Oya Ra and the Illuminati House of Ra for the support and encouragement of girl green in this endeavor. And finally, to the House of Nia whom I serve, my gratitude and devotion, always and in all ways. Evermore.
The ART of submission & surrender
How many of you are artists? You paint, draw, sculpt, compose, play or sing music, knit, crochet, photograph, garden, decorate, do makeup, hair, nails, design, write, sew, craft etc.
Many of us identify as an artist. We create because we must. Something inside of us…OF us, MUST come out. Must be expressed. If for no other reason but to simply exist.
No one can declare or affirm that you are an artist. No one can declare or affirm that your creation is art. It simply IS. A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.
Our art fulfills us at our center, our core, in ways that nothing or no one else can. It allows us to both empty ourselves into it while filling us up.
It is an integral part of our purpose in this lifetime.
Being an artist is a solo endeavor. Yes, one can collaborate with other artists. Yes, one can learn and/or refine their craft with the guidance of another. But ultimately, the art and the artist are of a singular nature. And neither are dependent on any outside force to exist.
So too with the Art of Submission and Surrender
For those joining us on the left side of the slash, feel free to interchange submission and surrender with Leadership & Responsibility
It matters not if you paint, draw, sculpt, compose, play or sing music, knit, crochet, photograph, garden, decorate, do makeup, hair, nails, design, write, sew, craft etc. You are an artist.
It matters not if you identify as a submissive, a slave, a brat, princess, babygirl, slut, pony, puppy, kitty, boy/boi, girl, servant etc. You are on the right side of the slash and thus practice submission or surrender.
Again, a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.
Your submission and/or surrender is something inside of YOU…OF YOU, that MUST come out. Must be expressed. If for no other reason but to simply exist.
Our submission and surrender fulfills us at our center, our core, in ways that nothing or no one else can. It allows us to both empty ourselves into it while filling us up.
It is an integral part of our purpose in this lifetime.
No one can declare or affirm that you are any of those labels. No one can declare or affirm that you are in submission or in surrender. You simply ARE.
Or are NOT.
And as a sacred text says: You will know them by their fruits.
Practicing the art of submission and surrender is a solo endeavor. Yes, one can collaborate with others on their journey of submission and surrender. Yes, one can learn and/or refine their craft with the guidance of another. Such as through education, fellowship, mentorship, even Ownership. But ultimately, the submission and the submissive, the surrender and the slave, are of a singular nature. And neither are dependent on any outside force to exist.
Is between you and……………. YOU. Period.
The caliber, the depth, the effectiveness, the fulfillment found in your submission and surrender is singularly and solely up to YOU.
I see and feel your “but, but, but” and your “well he, well she, well they” and your “what about this and what about that”
And I won’t tell you that none of that matters. It does. However, most of those things are only arrows pointing you to something within YOU that is to be explored and resolved.
Just like any artist, the caliber, the depth, the effectiveness, the fulfillment found in creating their art, in being an artist is singularly and solely up to them.
No one truly MAKES them paint or sing or dance or write or craft. They either choose to or not.
Can they be inspired or motivated by outside forces? Yes of course. But it’s still a choice.
No one can make YOU submit, surrender, obey or serve. You either choose to or not.
Can YOU be inspired or motivated by outside forces? Yes of course. But again, it’s still a choice.
This is a consent culture. One of explicit CHOICE.
And in the art of submission and surrender, that choice is best supported by practice. You chose this life, this lifestyle so…
Choose YOU. Every second, every minute, Each and every hour of every day.
Your submission, Your surrender. Choose.
Make the choice that your submission, your surrender will be executed and internalized to the best of your ability. Every second, every minute, Each and every hour of every day.
No matter what anyone else chooses to do or not do.
No matter how you feel.
No matter what they said.
No matter what you thought.
I promise you dear ones, this is an artform I have practiced for over 14 years and still do Every second, every minute, Each and every hour of every day.
I have never regretted doing my very best.
I have never regretted choosing surrender.
Yet, with full transparency I will tell you there have been times when I have chosen something other than my very best, other than surrender. And have regretted it every single time.
Even if those times served their own purpose, provided their own lessons and offered invitations for me to sink further into my surrender. It was much harder than it had to be because of my choice.
My surrender fulfills me at my core, in ways that nothing or no one else can. It allows me to both be empty while filling me up. It is an integral part of my purpose in this lifetime.
So I choose me, Every second, every minute, Each and every hour of every day.
Now…HOW does one go about this WILD but absolutely true concept of taking full accountability for YOU in your submission and surrender?
Anyone who has ever spoken with me about this topic, about their issues and challenges in this lifestyle or dynamic could … or should…be able to tell you my short answer.
While that may be a short answer, it’s levels and depths and perspectives and contextual applications are sky high and oceans deep.
So I will let you in on the biggest and best tool in the Art of Submission and Surrender.
See, everywhere you go…there you are. Including on this journey of self-discovery in BDSM.
Self-Mastery is the one vital tool in your supply box.
Self mastery is often defined as self-control, the ability to exert a strong will against our impulses to steer our future to one of our choosing. … Self mastery requires having a vision for your future self. And harnessing the will to realize that vision. We learn to master ourselves by getting out of our own way.
Most assume that the Dominant or Master exerts THEIR will on our impulses and steer our future to one of their choosing.
That may be what it looks and feels like, on a practical, logistical level. Yet, mastery of self, including self-control, discipline and reflection is the foundation to which external, Ownership, Enslavement can thrive.
As I expressed earlier, yes these and other things can be inspired by, motivated by outside forces, yet and still the choice lies with YOU.
Please do not become confused or overwhelmed with self-Mastery, because it is not a call to strive for perfection. It is a call to strive for practice, the practice of Self-Mastery goes hand in hand with the Art of Submission and Surrender. Consistently and earnestly.
The Master I serve surmised recently that one aspect of trust, comfort and confidence He has in this slave is that I am always wrangling me. So He doesn’t worry too much about how certain things may fall on me or affect me inadvertently, or me heaping issues out of left field onto His plate. Why? Self-Mastery.
If you are scratching your head or folding your arms trying to figure out how to tap into this tool I’ll give you a few brush strokes of Self-Mastery.
Know thyself – You cannot Master what you don’t know. The levels of transparency and vulnerability needed to give oneself over to the Authority of another is the same levels needed to have full Authority over yourself. Artists study their subjects, whether it is a method, medium or the actual subject they intend to capture creatively. Not your representative. Not who your family, your community, the world told you to be…BOTH before and after you discovered this lifestyle. Know thyself.
Self-Control – Consent culture. Explicit choice is yours. Every second, every minute, each and every hour of every day. This is your life, your art, your submission, your surrender. Choose You. And if you know how you are, and how you are presenting and experiencing this life is not what you desire, study, unlearn that which does not serve you and choose to learn what does and how to internalize those things. Self-Control
Vision – You have to know where you desire to go…where you long to go, where you NEED to go to fulfill your purpose and highest good. In order to master thyself. Hopefully you attended my class on Vision setting where I explained that it is going to guide your choices and help you know yourself even better. Vision.
Exactly how all this looks and feels, how it all turns out for each one of us will be different. Some will go the hard way, some will find great ease, some will start and stop and start again. Some will scrap everything over and over again until they find their creative voice or muse.
And As we conclude this Symposium on the Art of Submission and Surrender, it is my wish for you that I, along with the other presenters and facilitators have illuminated the Bright Side of the Right Side while providing guidance, perspective, tools and tips for you to hone your craft. Making your life, your BDSM journey, your dynamics, your submission, your surrender… a Masterpiece.