What is Your Scene Name? Daddy Cakes Kylen
City and State of residence? CHICAGO, IL
Region of Residence? Midwest
What are your pronouns?
What is your gender Identity? Male
What is your sexual identity? Queer
What is are your racial identities? Other
What is/are your ethnicities? (Culture, nationality, ancestry, language) Black
How did you first get into Leather and/or Kink? In-person
Give a Brief Description of your entrance into Leather and/or Kink The first husband bought me my first harness at age 19, started exploring various leather/kink/fetishes after that initial gift.
What was your local scene like when you were starting? How is it now, by comparison? My first local scene was small and intimate. There was one local leather bar and it was unwelcoming to POC. My local scene now has a few options for leather, kink, and fetish community members, is home to 2 international competitions, and 1 National competition. It also has a kink museum and is home to one of the oldest Leather/kink clubhouses in the country.
Who’s the most influential Black person. In your life and why? Daddy Joey McDonald is the most influential Black person in my life. He and I share very similar interests, with regard to similar kinks, personal lifestyle choices, and desire/ability to navigate spaces as independent kinksters.
What book have you read that influenced your life and why? The Color of Water. Great book about racial identity, especially for those who’s identities are complex.
Talk about one of your favorite experiences in your local Kink and/or Leather Community. One of my favorite kink experiences was being in the downstairs, open area, of a bar with a dark sex room in the back with one of my kink mentors, at a time when the bar was becoming less known for public play happening. My mentor (who is also Black) and I started spanking a young, willing, hot, white, bottom…very loudly. Soon after we could hear slaps coming from a far corner of the bar, then, more slaps in another far corner. We’d inadvertently started an impromptu spanking party and it was GLORIOUS!!!
Do you have a favorite mantra or quote? If so, please share. What other people think of me, is none of my business.
Name of Clubs you have been a part of? (Please also notate duration, leadership positions if any, and membership levels) LORE–LeatherFolk of Recovery, 2014-current. Vice President 2014-2015.
Are you a founding member of any club(s)? Yes
If you answered yes to the previous question please list club(s), or write n/a. LORE–LeatherFolk of Recovery
Are you a founding member of any organization? No
If you answered yes to the previous question please list organization(s), or write n/a. n/a
Were there any other Black leather folks around in the leather scene when you came into the scene/community? Maybe
If so, did you find that you gravitated more towards each other? If not, how did this affect your experience? Did you build your own community? Say more about your experience. If there were any Black folks I didn’t know who they were.
Do you think being Black has hampered your experience in the leather/kink community at all? Yes
If it has, what kind of things did you do to try and remedy those issues? If it hasn’t, please describe. Of course, it has. I helped found a Leather club in hopes of creating more welcoming space for Black folks, non-Black POC, and womxn and femmes. Shortly after the club’s membership grew, it began feeling less welcoming for me as a Black person. While I’m still a member, I don’t participate in any club functions.
Is there a specific instance where you feel your Blackness enhanced your experience in Leather? Yes
If you answered “yes” or “maybe” please explain. I will often be invited to spaces because I’m a Black kinkster.
What is a specific challenge you had coming up in Leather that was unrelated to race/ethnicity? General mentorship was lacking, without having to enter into an unwanted relationship, or power dynamic in order to learn the desired skills or tools.
How do you find you’re treated in the Leather community vs. the greater LGBT community? Very similarly. I don’t often socialize in public, leather spaces anymore.
Do you feel that the leather community and embracing blackness has a positive outlook? Maybe
Please explain your previous response. I’m not sure what the question is trying to ask. Does embracing my Blackness have a positive outlook? For me, yes. For the Leather community? My Pro-Blackness is received about as well as it is anywhere else.
What advice would you give to newcomers in the Leather scene who are Black? Find your tribe of Black folks… maybe it’s the Blerds, or Black Gaymers, or even Black jocks or GDI’s…but find them, introduce yourself, and ask them for whatever support you need.
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